.most.boring.week.ever.

in case you didnt get the newsflash, this HAS been the most boring week in the history of life on earth. little leslie has done NOTHING except go to crew once, and spend the rest of her time playing/cuddling with moses (the kitty). yea sure things happened in other peoples lives. great. fun. *woo hoo*. party down. I HATE THIS.

(dont read this if you dont want to hear me bitching alot about stupid shit)
and then i get to have my senior portrait taken. oh wait, i cannot smile. my smile makes my face look like a sandwich. its the ragan family smile of death. i dont know how my REAL smile looks, but my camera smile definately makes my face a mile wide and an acre shorter than usual. wonder why i never open my mouth in school portraits? 1. the braces 2. i used to have an underbite 3. the ragan family smile of death. everyone in my family has a really wide face when they smile. look at me and my mother x 75. everyone in the family. most peoples mouths just open a bit, but no, my cheeks puff out like a fugu fish. it makes me UGLY. it screws up my eyes and makes my cheeks look fat. and guss what? i think opened mouth smiles look bad on EVERYONE in the first place! noone does them in real life unless theyre laughing, which is an ugly process! in real life, people smile in a more subtle way, which i think looks better than the overhaul open mouth extravaganza. really, i like the way they took portraits earlier on. people not necessarily smiling. people are prettyer that way. you can see all the details of their faces without the disfiguration of a smile (yea i know that sounds bad). im not saying we should all frown, just put on the face you would usually put on, and if thats not a BIG smile, so be it. plus theres my hair, which, btw, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO STYLE. yes. my hair is impossible. if i manage to get a LITTLE bit of the frizz out (which requires not washing it for a day and instead rinsing it in cold water and conditioning the tips...whimper... without shampooing) then maybe i can pull of wearing it half down. but theres that part where one side waves and the other side is flat. and i ALWAYS have the 'tell tale bump' of a ponytail wearer, even after i wash my hair, or only wear it up for like five minutes. guss why? oh yeah cause i cant blowdry my hair and so i always end up having to wear it up. yeah ive tried cirular brushes (tangled) serums (made it frizzyer unless i DONT blowdry) and cold air blowdryers (the same except you can frizz in summer too!). none of them work. i hate hair. just think, in like 2060 its going to be socially acceptable to be bald (if i am in control of the universe)! oh wait im pale, so nevermind. also know what i just realized? they digitally remove freckles in this thing (yeah theyre racist). SO IM GONNA LOOK WEIRD. everyone knows leslie without freckles would look funny. ARRGH I HATE PICTURES. so there is my predicament/bitchfest 2005. take it or leave it, i dont care what you think!

i really want to go back to school, except i DONT want to apply for college. i want to go, sure, but im really overwhelmed by this whole process. i think its a total waste. why go through it all? why do they make the system like this? i dont think your future should be something you have to 'get into'. just make it a little bit more like 'getting into' high schools/middle schools/elementary schools. that worked out okay didnt it? i mean, really, how well you do in a high school setting/ what kind of things you did then, have NOTHING to do with what youre going to do in the future. the way ive been in high school is not indicative of how i want to be for the rest of my life. its how i need to be to get by, without driving myself mad, of course.